FACTUAL REPORTING — Portland, Maine. Tonight’s baseball crowd has a second ticketing class: dogs. The Portland Sea Dogs’ final 2026 Bark in the Park date is scheduled for Wednesday, September 9, with a dog-friendly left-field section and a pregame parade around the field.
One small dog, one ceremonial first pitch, several very large ambitions
Blessed Be the Bullies, a Maine dog-rescue group, says one of its dogs is set to throw the ceremonial first pitch, with other dogs available for meet-and-greets and adoption conversations. The group is urging prospective adopters to complete an application before the game, so the evening has a chance to end with a new best friend instead of just a souvenir program.
The practical details are unusually charming: dogs and people need their own tickets, and the dog section sits in the left-field bleachers. The event listing also describes a pregame walk around the field and “Doggie Valets,” giving people a brief, easy visit to the concourse while the leash routine stays smooth.
The game is a genuinely local little spectacle — rescue volunteers, baseball fans, and dogs with no interest in batting averages sharing the same plan for a September evening. The first-pitch dog may be the only participant who can honestly say the pressure is off: it already has a job offer to be adorable.
Also on tonight’s network
- Factual reporting: Hilarious.news reports that Capitol Reef’s scenic drive is opening to cyclists and leashed dogs for Reef Ride Bike Days.
- Factual reporting: Smile.news previews Art in the Park in Cornish, New Hampshire.
- Factual reporting: WeirdNews.org explains why Supai’s mail route still uses mules.
- SATIRE / FICTION: FunnyNews.lol’s “The Neighborhood Forecast” is an original comic-strip fiction piece labeled as satire.